Happy New Year yall!
This years wrap up came pretty much the same time as last year’s, even though I thought that I was late!
So month by month ..
This January was the start of the new role as Office Manager and when I finally bumped into my office. Was an interesting learning curve and really challenging. I felt like I was not only juggling between growing up but also the office politics of taking up the role – managing all the people watching me fail and waiting for me to step down. Was pretty difficult but I did what I had to do. It was a time of really stepping up to the plate and feeling energetic and wanting to make changes.
February – March
I don’t actually remember much other than working and starting Marketing for semester 1. I remember the first day of class of marketing and learning of the opportunity to study in Vietnam for free and I was thinking I really wanted to go but wondering whether I could get leave.
April – May
I made it to Vietnam. Had a blast and met some of the greatest people ever! I was completely blown away by the repertoire or should I say calibre of the people studying at RMIT – so much more hardcore than the people I’ve met here. It was really great to go to Vietnam and see just how much it has changed over the years.
Coming home from Vietnam, I worked so hard to whip my group and get our project with NGV underway. I remember I worked every single day just to get the project done because my aim was the win the Marketing Pitch awards – and yes, we did! 😀
I remember getting my heart broken around this time but it did help me to work on myself and understanding how I worked when it came to relationships. From this, I decided it was time to do things that I wanted to do and started dancing and walking at Jells Park. It was a great time to just get into something that I’ve always wanted to do. I lost a fair bit of weight and started to buy a lot more work out clothes – like a lot.
I started semester 2 and did Financial Management. It was an interesting subject and one that certainly opened my eys up to the concept of “Money” again (the first time being accounting). It was challenging but I really enjoyed it because of being able to use maths again. Do I remember how it all works? Nope, all out the door now. LOL
During this time, I started to get a little bit more serious with online dating (hrm.. I was gonna do a post about this, will have to do this soon) and started to try out different sites. Finally jumped onto to Tinder as advised by lots of people and started to talk to different guys. It was a great experience just to talk to different guys out there – yeah, there’s a lot of really boring people, a lot of really strange people and some people that I felt were pretty cool.
August – September
In these two months, work started to get more stressful. I had spent the whole year firing and hiring people and trying to put a good team together. It was during August that I went to the APPA show (Australian Promotional Productions Association convention) in Sydney and it gave me a deeper insight into the industry I was working for. This time was very stressful and I was really getting beaten by the boss that I was working for. He wanted me to step me game and really micro-manage my team.
Things were getting really difficult at work. Uni was ok but Financial Management was hard.
It was also during this time that I met someone from Tinder and he turned out to be a really nice guy. So we started to go on more dates and he brought a lot of happiness into my life.
My 32nd birthday this year. I was spoiled by many. Lots of dinners, cake, oysters, steak and so many well wishes. I felt really spoiled this year and I felt like my life was changing for the better.
November – December
Turning point. Things were not working very well at work and it was getting to the point where the tension between the boss and I were getting intolerable. I wanted to leave, he felt it, offered me a way so that I could work and fit in study life but then the offer was pulled back. I decided it was time to leave and to concentrate on getting my life to where I want it to go instead of continuing to do something while waiting for my “life” to come to me.
I went to Warrnambool for a SBV trip and it was great to just get away even though it was for 1 day only. Better than nothing! 🙂
During this month, lots of things happened and a lot of it was really difficult. I really had to grow up in November and really learn what “unconditional love” was and what it really means to be in a relationship. I finally figured out the one biggest draw back in my life when it comes to relationships and finally decided that it was time to cut that. I finally felt a lot lighter and felt my life relax a little.
Uni was very challenging (and still is) because 3 subjects meant that I was constantly on the go and constantly trying to finish something or study. I had some really challenging work groups and had a lot of difficult times but I still had to keep working and still keep positive. I was really stressed out and really felt the noose around my neck tightening at this point. So many things happening and so many things that I had to learn to let go of and let live, forget and move on because I had no time to give a shit.
Christmas came and New Years and it was time to just let loose a little and just chill.
In hindsight, 2016 was a very stressful year. I mean the problems in comparison to 2014 or 2015 were better and I feel that the “problems” were just growing pains or what it means to be an adult. But I certainly felt the noose around my neck. I was really uptight, stressed, second-guessed everyone, feel my confidence and self-esteem slip away at times and overall my demeanour was really mean, nasty and I felt like I did a lot of “dirty work” like the firing, the difficult conversations.
Though, at the same time, I grew up a lot this year.
I learnt how to have those difficult conversations, how to negotiate with people on really difficult things, how to deal with issues and problems more calmly, how to differentiate what are my thoughts and what are someone else’s thoughts and how to deal with emotional issues. It was a year of growing up and a year of becoming who I am.
I feel more aligned with who I am more than ever and I feel like I am now not as caring of what other people think of me as I did in the past. Yeah, in some ways, it does feel like I’m growing up to be a lot more tough and “bitch” like but that’s just the executive in me that is now a lot more confident with what I do and how I think. I’m definitely not young-wide-eyed-girl that just got accepted into the EMBA program that I thought I was good enough for, but the EMBA candidate that owns the HDs that I have been awarded with because I work my ass off for it. I drive each and every project I work on and I make sure I drive each person to achieving the best.
Just in the last 2 months during summer school, I have been so cut-throat and damn-straight that I’ve done a whole assignment and just told the other people the points that they will be discussing. Yup, don’t give a damn shit about what you think. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I don’t value their opinions or thoughts, it’s because they didn’t contribute to the report itself. The guy didn’t even read the damn report before our presentation.
I’m definitely in a much better place than I was two years ago where I freaked out about when the next paycheck was coming. I’m glad I’m in a much better place.
I do feel like my goals and my dreams are coming true and that I can finally get the things that I want. Of course I still have my insecurities and fears of losing what I have now, for sure, but at the same time, I’m adamant that the Universe has my back and that the Universe will bring forth what I need for me and eliminate the things, job or people that I don’t need.
I feel like I’m more at ease with who I am because I am being authentically who I am – that means, being the “not-so-nice” Karen and also being the “nice” Karen that I am without any hold backs, without thinking what I will get in return.
2017 has so far started off great and I hope that 2017 will bring more memories and more opportunities and more experiences with regards to work and love and friends.
Here’s to an even more exciting 2017 and living the life that I have wanted to live for many years…
Here’s to finally getting that library that I want, the job, the relationship, the life, the me that I want to be and am becoming.